My Wife Journal #11 
07/14/2023 @ 2:54 p.m. 


 Why I Practice Abstinence 

         
        As you can see from the title, I will be speaking about abstaining from fornication. First off let’s understand what fornication is: Fornication is sexual intercourse between people not married to each other. Which means, that however, you choose to engage in intercourse outside of marriage, is considered fornication. Fornication is a sin within the context of the bible as stated in: 

    1 Corinthians 6:9: "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals. 

         So now that that is established, I can dive right into why I abstain from sexual sin in my own personal life set aside from what I just established biblically. But secondly, I also want to get something else established. I am imperfect so if you were to ask if I have slipped up during my journey of walking in righteousness then the answer would be “YES”!!! A couple times within a short amount of time. Before that I had almost abstained for a year. And honestly, before this happened, I had slim to no conviction when living in sin when it came to fornication, but the more I drew near to God, I started losing the desire to engage in sexual sin. For me, I was learning my identity, my morals, my standards, my strengths, my weaknesses. And for me, I had to realize that “MEN” was a weakness for me. And I think it had a lot to do with my upbringing, without a dad, and needing the reassurance of a male figure in my life, I would to a certain extent fall for the guy, that I was interested in. Not all at once, but it came about easier if he was my type, whispered a few sweet nothings my way, and of course along with other things, I was hooked. And considering the fact, that I have been in four what I thought was monogamous relationships, I was willing and able to give my body to a man that I was not married too. And, sometimes I would feel the conviction of living in sin, but for the most part it never bothered me because of how blind I was to the fact that what I was doing was bringing judgment to my own body. And when Jesus, finally got ahold of me, I was able to remove the blinders and really see how life is like when I remove sin from life. 

         But back to this slip up. LOL!!! Of course, I won’t go into detail, but needless to say, when I did slip up, oh man; was I beyond convicted!!! I was about to stress myself out, because I felt like I was cheating on God! I felt so bad and immediately repented and renounced my sin with that person each time. And even then, I was beating myself up, because I just felt that bad. Like, I had never felt so convicted about engaging in sexual sin. Which is one of the biggest reasons why I don’t engage in it. For one, I abide by the bible, and for two, I feel like I would be cheating on the Lord, and for three, it’s about self-control and being delivered and set free from what I was bound to, which was sexual sin. 

         I want to go into some detail about why I feel like I would be cheating on the Lord when it comes to sexual sin. Because when you walk in righteousness, you are now married to Christ, that is why we are called the Bride of Christ. Which means that I have a close intimate relationship with my father and what He says as a blueprint in the Bible I choose to honor because of the relationship that I have with Him. And for me, I don’t want to go outside of that relationship as much as I possibly can by committing myself everyday to crucifying the flesh by staying in prayer, and reading my bible, and being in tune with what he requires of me. And honestly, I have sincerely lost the desire of wanting to continue to degrade myself for a man that may not even know how to lead properly in the eyes of the Lord, so I prefer to guard my heart and body, until God brings my earthly husband along. This kind of relationship also helps to signify what it means to be a wife in the eyes of the Lord. Because God wants to know that you can honor Him with your walk before He gifts you with His gifts which happens to be a wife or husband. And if I am able to commit myself to this then, this shows the Lord that I am being patient, know my identity, know my self-worth, and have self-control. By the way, this also includes anything that you can self-pleasure yourself with as well, all of that is no longer a thing in my life whatsoever. And the only way I was even able to walk away from sexual immorality was to be delivered and set free from sinful nature. 

         One of the key elements to this walk, as becoming a wife, is that of course, if I am abstaining then my husband would need to be in the same spiritual walk. And reason being, is because this shows that he also has been delivered from a perverse lifestyle and has self-control to wait and honor the Lord as well. It also shows that if he can wait until marriage, then there is a greater chance of him not stepping outside of our marriage in the long run. Now we all face temptation, that is where prayer comes in at. This is not to say that temptation does not try to rise up in my life from time to time, hence the reason why I slipped up. However, since I knew that this was a weakness in my life at one point, I understood exactly what I needed to do, to not go back down the rabbit hole of destruction in my life. Because intercourse was usually the number one reason why I backslid. Because I would backslide not repent or renounce immediately and would keep falling until it was no longer a conviction or just a thing to do because I allowed it to continue and linger in my life. And for me, this is why I pray for my husband in that area just about every time I pray for him, because there is so much temptation in the world that sex is flaunted around like entertainment now. Seduction and lust is rampant and in a world like this, and knowing that a man is more or less attracted to what he see’s is more of a reason as to why I pray like I do. 

             Self-control is most definitely a gift from God, especially when it comes to sex, and even more when you have stepped out of the means of marriage and didn’t wait until the appointed time of marriage like myself. Now if you ask me if it is easy to abstain, the answer is ABSOLUTELY!!! Since, I slipped up I prayed and asked the Lord to show me how to not slip up anymore, and that is when I started realizing that this was at one point a weakness because of my past, so now I stay faaaaaaaaaarrrrr away from male contact!!! LOL, SERIOUSLY LIKE REAL TALK I REALLY DO. Now and days, I run across men that try to talk to me, but I hit them with the I’m not ready, because I feel like I’ll know when the right one comes along, and plus I can tell when a man is still dealing with a lustful spirit. I know about it because I know what that familiar spirit looks like in the eyes of others. So, it’s not hard for me to discern what a man really wants beside just a casual conversation and “getting to know me”. I’m not new to this, I’m true to this. I may have to start wearing moo-moo’s when I get out the house!!! LOL. And like I said this is my blog, for anyone that reads my blogs, I speak on certain things I’ve overcame because we all go through things, and when you’re delivered and set free from those things you can help the next person along the way to being healed. 

         In closing, being able to abstain has been one of the most reassuring things I could have done for my life. I don’t have to deal with getting caught up in my feelings toward a man that I know is not my future husband, I don’t have to worry about thinking I’m in a monogamous relationship and he is actually cheating on me, and most importantly, I don’t have to worry about going to hell for fornicating as stated in 1 Corinthians 6:9 that clearly states fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God, and more so I am not bringing sin against my body as stated in 

     1 Corinthians 6:18: 

 "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body." 

     Which to me, helps me sleep better at night, knowing that I am honoring the one who gave me life and the one who can easily take it away. So, for those that are struggling in this area give it to the Lord. Ask him to deliver you from perverseness and sexual immorality, with consistent prayer and renounce all partners. The best thing out of this, is that I know that I no longer carry the baggage of soul ties and weight, so therefore my marriage will be built on a foundation of walking in purity through the eyes of the Lord. And again, it’s going to be a beautiful thing!!!!! 


 Signed,
 Your Wife