My Wife Journal #9

06/16/2023 @ 11:18 a.m.

 

            I honestly wish there was a way to be more consistent in this journal, but in retrospect, I don’t think it would be as transparent. I usually tend to journal in this journal in particular when I feel the unction or just something I want to genuinely express toward my future spouse. So, this journal today I woke up in a mode of sharing what I have been learning over the past few weeks. And I would have to say, that I’ve learned a few things. One of which is to not help anyone else that does not want to be helped in any walk or area of their life. And I mean that with all due respect out of the protection of my anointing first and foremost. I have been able to understand through the holy spirit to do my part and move around. And to keep one in prayer, outside of what I’ve already done and to not take it personal. In most cases, people want genuine help, but getting to the place of the correct help is not something that most want to take heed to. I’ve learned that in my eyes, people only want the help that they are okay or sounds right in their natural (carnal) way of thinking. And being a helping hand goes further than what the eye can see. I am speaking in regards to knowing that the truth, will set them free from being captive in their mind. Like most will listen to the truth, but to actually follow the route of doing what it means to be helped is a totally different story. So, I have just learned to be okay with a person’s decision whether they choose the truth or not. And it’s not to say that pressure comes from me toward anyone, I just know that prayer is the ultimate way for anyone that does not know the truth, seeks the truth, and still has a hard time following what is truth. I had to also find my way, the absolute hard way myself, so I will continue to pray for those that I am called to pray for.

            Secondly, I have learned to be fearless and more now know my power and authority in what I walk. See what we have to learn is that there are most definitely people that have power, but with no authority. Meaning they may have the money because in the natural world, anyone who has long money has the power to pull some strings, but in reality, they just have that and not the authority to be able to follow through with something because of the lack of authority. And when we learn that it takes more than just power to obtain what you are seeking, then it overrides everything else. But the only way to have both power and authority that out weighs any tactic of the enemy is to follow Christ. I tell you what, the opposition that I myself have been up against, without speaking on any of it, clearly showed me that just having power is not enough. And mind you I don’t have loooooooonnnng money lol!!! But guess what, I still have the power and authority to walk in the blood and cancel out the enemies plans without needing a dime to infiltrate the spiritual realm. I find it to be very important in these days to know your power and authority because God has been showing how deceived even believers have subjected themselves to the deception of this world.

            Thirdly, is to always stay in my word. I say this very strongly, in which I should have put this first, because of the importance of it, however it doesn’t matter the order at this point because all three things I am speaking on is still very much needed and important. Being in your word, builds you up spiritually, you find truth, you find where your errors are in life, it’s a blueprint, it’s a map, it’s the TRUTH!!!! How do I know that, because I have lived on both sides of the spectrum. In the world, and out of the world. Doing sinful nature, and being saved and set free. Abstaining, cutting addictions, gaining self-control are all apart of walking in obedience, just to name a few. And the more you read and build that relationship with Christ the more of those desires become less of a desire and more of something of the past. I tell you what, while in prayer last night, I always say this, but something about last night’s prayer when saying, “Lord let your will be done”, moved me in a way of just giving absolutely everything to you no matter how I feel. And I went to sleep knowing that I don’t care about what I want anymore, I just want your will. And whatever that looks like, is what I am going to rock with. The truth of the matter is that we should always live by this, but sometimes the flesh still rises up even with me walking out my salvation, because some areas of our lives are more trying than others. But this scripture in Psalm 34:19 stands out profoundly, and it says: Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out them all. And since I’m super big on looking up words in the dictionary even when knowing the definition of words, I still do it to put the context more into perspective. Which I looked up the word affliction. And affliction means; something that causes pain or suffering. Now when putting this word back into this scripture after reading it again, it gave me better insight into an obedient lifestyle. Which further lets me know, as to why when I hear the saying, God is not concerned about how we feel in the trial, but more so the condition of our heart and character. And the only way we learn is through afflictions, and at some point, will bring about answered prayers that build our faith even more in Christ. Some of us experience more affliction than answered prayers, to continue to grow us within him. Now if I’m honest, I don’t like it one bit, but you do, however, learn to embrace the affliction because of the maturity level you gain once you’ve overcame the affliction.

            And for me, being vulnerable to be transparent can be scary at times, because of how people are and can be in this world. It pains me to know that so many people have to be heartless, because of things they have seen, heard, and dealt with that caused such a hard exterior especially us women. I was at that point in my life, not long ago, and when you keep learning who you are in Christ, we are able to be vulnerable when necessary and still guard our hearts with a womanly attribute that only God can give us. Now what I will say is that I am still human, sometimes I can feel that hard exterior trying to rise in certain situations, but I can tell that the Holy Spirit has a way of reminding me that I don’t have to walk in that chapter of my life any longer because I know who I am in Christ.

 

            I tell you what, God most definitely has a way of changing you from the inside out, because I have come a long way. I remember there have been times where people would have so much negative to say, never once asking me, but still had something to say and I never cared enough to respond because some things are just not worth responding to. So, I knew then, that I was walking in my femininity even more so, because I knew how I was at one point in my life, I would have very much so popped off before, but love is the focal point, and embracing that side of me has gotten me so much further in life and knowing how to really protect my peace from the hate.

 

Signed,

Your Wife