My Wife Journal #10
06/29/2023@11:31 a.m.
So, for the past few weeks, I have
really been diving deep into prayer for you. It seems as though I am praying
for specific things in regard to your walk. I won’t go into detail on here, but
I will say a few things that I have been finding myself in constant prayer
about. Some of those things pertain to praying against lust, seduction,
healing, perseverance, leadership, and most importantly salvation.
I say healing, because I know that
we all go through painful situations in life that bring about hurt that most of
us suppress, in a way that we think since we don’t think about it much in our
adult life from maybe a traumatizing childhood, that we are now healed from it.
But what we don’t realize is that we just act on it when new pain arises
through anger, manipulation, control, and many different elements that keep our
minds bound. I know this to be true, because I myself had to be delivered and
healed from my childhood experiences when dealing with molestation. Not knowing
that this was still a factor in my life, I did not realize this was affecting
me mentally until I was able to forgive the one that took my innocence. And
this is not to say that this is what I see within my husband is the reason I am
praying for healing. I am just giving an example of one of the many obstacles I
have had to overcome. Even as an adult I am praying for healing because most of
us now and days, don’t know what true love looks like. We all have a glimpse of
what it looks like, maybe through loving our kids, and even than I see parents
all the time cussing their children out, as if that is love. But if we read in
1 Corinthians 13:4 it gives us exactly what love is and does not have anywhere
in there to cuss at your child. I’m just saying! Anyway, let me get back to you,
my love. So, I have been in a position of praying for healing in any part of
your life that needs healing.
I am praying for leadership, because
I know how important it is for a man to know what real leadership looks like. I
come from a dysfunctional family, so I never experienced the definition of how
a man is to lead. But by walking with the Lord, he has been showing me how to
be submissive in my singleness to leadership through this walk. And when you
abide in the Lord, and he abides in you, the Holy Spirit will reveal who is in
true leadership and who is just portraying that role, and also who could use a
little more correction in their walk of leadership. This to me is no different of
what it means to submit to leadership of my God ordained husband in some areas
of ministry. Because we all know that marriage is a ministry as well, so we
have to know as a wife who our lead is, which for now is the Lord in my
singleness. I also, want for my husband to know what it means to lead correctly
over my household, as it states in the Bible, the husband is to love the wife,
as Christ loves the church. To me that means to show patience, being able to
communicate effectively, to be vulnerable, when necessary, masculine, and being
able to be a servant. In return, I believe in making sure that the foundation
of my husband is to treat him like a king in my eyes. And for the ladies that
read this blog, I had to learn this by being submissive to Christ, that in the
household my husband is the king, the leader, and the man of the home, without
the notion of being controlling, but a man that goes to God to know the answer
or next move for the outcome of the household. And if I ever disagree, it can
be communicated and brought to the forefront of my Father for peace, or direction
to lead my husband in the manner that Christ wants this family to be moved
accordingly.
I won’t put emphasis on some of my
prayer closet moments in this post because some to me are personal, however the
last one I would like to touch on is, salvation. I don’t know where exactly my
husband is at in his walk with the Lord. However, if I am praying for him, I
know God is answering my prayers according to His will for your life. I do
believe that this is #1 on the list for me, because before you can be anything,
you must walk in true salvation, to even know how to treat me or be a leader. So,
I pray for your salvation, with a real surrender of your heart, thoughts, and
actions. One thing I don’t want is confusion. So, I need to make sure that, we
are equally yoked in our walk before we make a covenant with Christ. And there
were times where I would pray for you, and take breaks, but I am noticing as of
lately since I have been able to overcome so much turmoil in my life that I am
starting to pray for you a lot more. In a sense that, God is orchestrating our footsteps
for that divine appointment.
In the meantime, I am not pressed about
it, because honestly, I am enjoying my single life, to not have to cook every
day lol, or give back rubs or whatever your needs are. I’m not really thinking
about it, because God has me focused on so many other things in my life, that
it’s almost like the Holy Spirit has to unction me to pray for you and I am
noticing that it is becoming a lot more frequent. I mean don’t get it twisted,
I am ready for marriage because I am ready to get it in LOL!!!! Don’t judge me
because this is my page and I’ll say what I want. But yeah; it will be a long
time coming for me to be with a man that is from God and being able to share intimate
moments with a man that appreciates me, loves me, and covers me how God does
the Church. So, I am anticipating this moment because I have never been able to
experience this kind of love in my life set aside from Christ. And just FYI, it’s
going to be a beautiful sight!!!!!!
And for those of you who read these
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Your Wife
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